"Woke up this morning and found an entire women’s outfit strewn across the guest bed. This means what, all you married folk?

It means my wife changed her mind about the outfit she picked out last night.

I thank God all I need are a pair of pants and shirt, with “matching” being an optional quality."
John Erhardt

Yeah, "optional" matching unless she notices your outfit before you leave for the day, right?
Or if you're going out together?
Unless I move quick, no getting out of the house unless everything "matches."