7/5/66

It is a case of thought versus action
Poetry is close to life in the sense
that it more closely depicts the
banal and tragic, ideal and magnificent
moments of thought (and I must admit,
sense experience). Sense experiencee is
put in for verisimilitude- that's why I
used to find it annoying to add. I
still don't enjoy it. In "Seascape" I
developed the ability to depict characters
in terms of their thoughts as part of
landscape. I have in large part to
thank Jerry "the objecs need not be there
but the mind must be"- and
Durrell- the effect of Alexandria on
its inhabitants. It's a weighty framework,
this landscape, and I will endeavor to
make it still more minor- as it should
be-"touches" as visual experiences are
to me. I go in the world blind as a
bat listening to every word and emotion
of every friend. If I could see through
their eyes (my eyes) I could write of
landscape. Jerry said I was his eyes,
ears adn heart in New York.

Of course my eyes are not theirs. But
my own are so impoverished- I'm sure
it's a matter of fear, like my childhood
fear (desire) of going blind,my
voyeurism, the act.

I feel less lonely now.

Thanks to Durrell for his "character squeezes"
Otherwise, I am sure I would not bother,
a welcome shorthand!

*Ed Marks*- mystery, vivaciousness, the
urge to share, teach- great energy-
a volcano of pain. (like Clea-still
waters of pain.") Laughter."I can talk
to strangers but not to friends."

*Ed Small* Fatherly kindness, a
warming smile. "Strangers you have known all your life."

*Jeanne McCord* Impatient searching
glance that turns away. Loneliness.

Of course, TS Eliot's *Prufrock* is the
unconscious driving force in my poetry (can't
say I"ll go beyond this in myself)

8/29

My *Seascape* poem is also related to the
use of weather and landscape in
*The Stranger.*

8/28/66

Birds along the edge of the roof,
thoughtless,
carelessly wing to flight.


Family

it is the prize of giving
In the shape of meaning

Bread, love and talking

8/28

I looked deeply into the eyes of the girl
on the train. She gazed back, without
flinching,not turning away until she
got off the train. It was a great relief
and I don't know why.

Ed Small- Kindness, great kindness, and
innsight with compassion. he understands his
own eyes.

"A woman of generous character will
sacrifice her life a thousand times over for
her lover but will break with him for
ever over a question of pride- for the
opening or shutting of a door."
Stendhal

8/20/66

Nothing is alone but God.This parting
is good (not without fear). I will
see her-
.