Distribution Automatique

Friday, April 18

I'm thinking-once you start a process and continue it somehow- it takes on a life of its own. Developing the habit of something- is what is essential. This seems to be made enormously easier by the habit becoming part of my identity. Something I'm beginning to trust is the sense that I try to develop habits to make up for deficiencies in my experience. These begin usually by an inner proclamation- which for along time is preceded by repeated experiences.

To take the time to consider things- this is the habit which is replacing the habit of worry. Writing was the earliest example of this- writing to rid myself of repetitive thoughts that wouldn't go away. For many years I wrote the repetitive thoughts over and over. But it was not so interesting to read. Now it would be but it would be hard to find the time.

Changing the perspective towards intervals of time means allowing myself to see first how I feel about it- not feel impelled to guess at what that might be before I'm certain of it.This is the classic method and concealing the immediate feelings and allowing time and experience to wash over us.
(6/7/85)