Chris Sullivan asked me on Friday night at the reading at Mama Buzz if my
diary entries here are fictionalized. I wish I could make that claim, but no, they
are exact transcriptions from my diaries. Thanks for asking, Chris.

2/18/87

Insight: (thinking, today, of Martin Luther King, Jr.)
"Free at last, Free at last, dear God in heaven,
free at last." [Once you *really* start
talking, they won't want you to stop] [If you
have anything useful to say, or if the occasion
of your saying it is useful for people] [such as
"elevating" the way King effects me when he says,
free at last]

Visualization in each word is accompanied by
a visualization of its referent. To create
a tautology between the two a pictogram
or some variant of one is necessary.

The structure of the song mimes the
evolution of a thought or a sequence of
thoughts. Theme, variation, theme, as
in the Beethoven sense, a "searching"
for a "resolution." Think of the third or
the 5th Symphony. A motive is announced,
(the way the thought process "announces" or
"proclaims" an idea- and this idea resonates,
often with the pragmatic or realistic
applications of the thought) with other
thoughts. Then the whole thing usually quiets
down. Symphonic music usually follows
this structure- the better it is, the more
nuances are provided.

To return to the notion of visualization.
The symphonic form itself may be understood
as an acoustic visualization of the syntax
of thought (Watten's book)[note: Total Syntax]. New associations,
or revitalized associations may spring from,
for example, a stirring "motive"- "free at last,"
etc., or the opening motive of Beethoven's 5th.
The emotional element of thought is also
foregrounded in the establishment of a motive.

Each of us has a visualization referent for
nearly every word in our vocabulary.
Writing and reading poetry, in the 20th Century,
particularly, has established, again and again,
the powerful impact not of *confirming* past
visualizations, but of establishing new processes
for foregrounding the ideological
and social basis for frequently employed
visualizations.

2/21/87

To say that attention is the same as
consciousness is like saying that speed
is the same thing as the speedometer.

2/22

Very much wanting find the page
with the "ideal points" quote- I opened up
the book to the exact page (this is to avoid
citing Derrida *twice*-Oedipal?)

2/24

More resistance- when I found
the quote (on p. 574) of Interpretation
of Dreams-
I have decided to ADD the FReud
citation t *Currents of Attention*

2/26/87

The celebratory functions have long been
joined with the sacrificial and the addictive
facilities. I have long suspected this but
never before stated it quite this way. Thinking
and not-saying is powerful also (this is
related to the Jakobsen point about
listening) (this is a kind of gestation) (this
also reminds me of my father)

image drops

*

*

*

*

*

or stream

*
*
*
*
*
*
*

In the first image, each drop has more
specificity- NSCW also allows for more
specificity- such as using parentheses above.

2/26

Ha-ha-ha- this notebook is
titled *Single Subject*

poem: The Unspoken