Distribution Automatique

Thursday, March 6

Breaking things up. An endless wall of words will keep me out. "Breaking up" is laughing.

Douglas Messerli's reading- "too drunk to dream and too full of dream to get drunk"
"The heart survives on so little."
Use of the word "thighs."

Mei-Mei's reading.
Benjamin- "Eternity might be like a ruffle on a woman's dress"
Richard Tuttle mentioned Texel Island in Holland- protected wildlife.

Schuldt- Hamburg/ E. 12th St.

Making it up as you go along.

Kohut's description of Tragic Man. Kafka's K. Copy out section regarding little space and going within.

It's one thing to check the weather prediction in the media - another to only know what the weather is by going by the media.

I'm not a profundity machine.

This premonition I traced back to a lunch with L. I asked him about K- or he mentioned K and I asked him about her. Then I ran into her about one week later.She didn't know he was leaving his job. L's daughter was with her- about 11. We talked about managed care and golden handcuffs (meaning waiting for retirement) A common premonition - thinking of someone- then running into them soon after. Same morning of running into K I had a dream about Postgraduate Center. going back there to get some prices- for some literally small things (like a small bird) I had seen a bird flying around the school hallway. Ms M-( I call her TLC) asked me if Iknew what that meant- an omen?

Breton sold rare books and paintings.

Theoheretical Orbits: views for youse

When you dream at night, there are plenty of busses in the land of the dead.
(Toni Simon, 4/22/01)

The motherfuckers liberation army.

"Simon had a cat,which we could never seem to decide on a name for.Cat, being all we ever called it."
David Markson, -Wittgenstein's Mistress-, p. 37.

Time relationships. Time atomized into thoughts instead of actions.

Darkening clouds. They burst.Things sent higggledy-piggeldy in all directions.
Bring in a screen.Notice the shading as it starts to occur. Take out a mental umbrella
before the splattering starts. Protect yourself. When the splattering starts, just let the drops
dissolve. Don't start. Don't let it start. If you see the darkening start, let the clouds
stay light. Watch the darkening clouds go bright.

Form should release, not impede, it should help to be inclusive ,not exclusive,its order should be expansion,not contracting. It must be non-conforming for these reasons - because conformity's main function is to restrain- to make beings efface themselves, meld in.

When Pavese wrote "Among Women Only" could he have been thinking of Vuillard and Bonnard- so many of their paintings offer what seems to be a very discreet view into the ineffable relationships between women and what Rilke termed "the wide outside"(-Duino Elegies-)

The Contemplatives

To know that your are living within a casing of determined shapes of consciousness, crowding into one's living space (I see them, though, as sculptures) but your pleasure goes beyond all this.

"Never show dismay, never show resentment." (Orwell-"1984")
"We're destroying words- scores of them, hundreds of them, every day. We're cutting the language down to the bone." ("1984")
"Was he then alone in the possession of a memory?" ("1984")
"His earlier thought returned to him.: probably she was not a member of the thought police." ("1984")